I suppose I’m somewhat to blame. Good coffee is difficult. You have to search the world for the right beans, import them in a way that sustains the farmer, and transport them to your door without going broke. Coffee berries are particular, and must be roasted correctly in a process that marries science and art– which seemingly no one knows how to do other than a few people in Chicago, North Carolina, Alabama, and Washington state. Then– and this might be the hardest step– you’ve got to ship this rare and delicious treat to your omniscient customer, who for years has been trained to tolerate, and even enjoy, over-roasted, badly-brewed coffee that furthers a tenuous business plan by encouraging customers to buy add ons in place of quality coffee. So when people say that they like good coffee, what they mean is that they like some cheap ass shit coffee, which was abused when it was roasted and then poorly brewed, mediated by inane amounts of milk and sugar and other godless flavorings.

The saddest part to me is that when people have the rare chance to purchase good coffee beans, they do not realize the responsibility that comes therein. No one takes into account that they are, in fact, pouring gross amounts of chlorine over their coffee beans; no one considers that the temperature of the water, or the coolness of the carafe, or the thinness of the mug might have some small part to play in brewing a good cup of coffee.

So when, by some miraculous chance, the right factors combine to allow someone to make a craft brew at home (I leave out the possibility of work, because we all know that never happens), they immediately destroy it by not even tasting the black stuff solo, but by immediately covering the delicious but delicate flavor with toxins and ultra pasteurized dairy products. What happens more often in the pursuit of good coffee is that people assume that purchasing expensive or locally roasted beans are enough, then go on to mass produce this supposed high quality coffee in cheap electric coffee makers. They are the ones who would buy the angus burger at McDonalds and be surprised that they taste like McDonalds.

Is there any hope of respite from bad coffee or poor taste? Perhaps. But it’s gonna take work, and care, and patience. Taste buds are difficult beasts to retrain.